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The Summer Shoe Pledge
Please raise your big toes and repeat after me:
As a member of the "Toe Exposing Sisterhood," I pledge to follow these rules when wearing sandals and other open-toed shoes:
I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and top of my feet will not "pudge out" between the straps.
I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.
I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.
I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, co-worker, mother or sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.
If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.
I will not live in corn denial. Rather, I will lean on my good friend, Dr. Scholl's, if my feet need him.
I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat, and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.
I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toe swells and begins to look like a Vienna sausage.
I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend, sister and/or co-worker when she asks if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that there are simply better options than sandals for creepy feet!
- Anonymous
Comments
I love it!! I think this needs to be posted in every public restroom in the country, just so that every woman reads it.
My own input - "I will not wear my original Crocs out in public"
Looking forward to sharing this with my friends.
It is so funny because it so true!!!
Love the mandatory bathroom postings idea -- and I once heard that Crocs are clown shoes!
Thanks for weighing in!
LOVE it!!! However you forgot to add
"I will promise not to wear sandals that are a size too big, therefore leaving a gap at the heel area that makes it obvious I've bought the wrong size, no matter how great a price deal the shoes may have been."
Oh, yes, that should be included too! Never mind the legitimate safely issue of wearing shoes that are too big!
Hahaha this is too funny! I'm just took off my toe ring this am.
If you had foot pain such as I do from peripheral neuropathy, you would not diss Crocs. They are one brand that my feet are comfortable enough to wear. They do finally have some better styles.
Totally agree,Connie! I got rid of my plantar fasciitis pain too with Croc 'clogs'(something the medicos couldn't achieve). I only wear mine round home, AND there's a reason doctors and nurses wear them in hospitals!!!!